Wednesday, May 16, 2012

In your eyes, the light the heat...I see the doorways to a thousand churches.

Forget "The Notebook." The movie "Say Anything" is the one that taps the sap for me. Peter Gabriel's song, "In Your Eyes" makes the movie, or does the movie make the song? Or is it John Cusack's portrayal of Lloyd Dobbler that just melts my heart? I guess it's the whole thing put together. Maybe it's the notion that Lloyd reminds me of Rob. His girlfriend in the movie, Diane Court, reminds me of me, minus her lustrous auburn hair and Honor Society medals.

So in honor of our 25th wedding anniversary, I post these scenes set to the song, which haunts and brings me back to 1987, even though the movie came out in 1989. The clothes, music, and cultural pulse of our generation is portrayed well, one year before our first child was born.

Diane and Lloyd were approaching high school graduation. Rob and I met in our junior year of college. We  married soon after finishing undergrad in 1987.

Lloyd's goal in life is to be Diane's one and only. His unassumming humor, gentility, and love win her over. That's pretty much how it was with Rob and me. Rob wasn't just another guy. Lloyd's friends, (who are girls) advise him, "You're not a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man." 

The strained relationship that Diane had with her father resembled the struggles I had with my Dad. Different, but similar. The endearing part is how Lloyd supports without invading her space or manipulating. He serves as a leaning post when Diane is strong, and even when she rejects Lloyd, he hangs in there when she unadmittedly needs him the most.
Yea, we had a short break up. Rob says it was six weeks. I say it was two. Nevertheless, we figured out that we couldn't live without each other.

Diane's window is open. She, restless lying on her bed, hearing the lyrics, "and all my instincts, they return, and the grand facade, so soon will burn...without the noise, without my pride, I reach out from the inside."The classic scene of Lloyd holding the boombox over his tall body, playing "In Your Eyes" from a cassette tape, is totally Rob. What guts! What heart. By the way,(taking a stab at what make his car is), I love the old Malibu Cutlass.

Lloyd teaches Diane how to drive a stick shift. I already knew how to do that, but the instructional portion of the movie is cute. Diane is at ease with Lloyd's gentle guidance. He isn't patronizing in machismo. He just wants to be with her. Their affection is at once natural and desperate.

Lloyd says his main talent is being in love with Diane. That's how it lasts 25 years. In terms of being married to me? Rob is good at it.

And during takeoffs and landings, he still holds my hand.


  1. what a beautiful tribute to your marriage and to Rob. In fact this posts brought tears to my eyes. Barry always held my hand at take offs and landings. I hope your marriage will last a long, long, long, long time and will stay as loving as it is now.

    1. Thanks Glenda. Yes, the take offs and landings also represent the launches and home stretch finishes we face in our marriage and with our kids. We have an idea of what will happen, but we really don't know. We just hold on for the ride of our lives. I know you miss Barry. Did you watch the video? I never tire of it. Maybe one day it will be considered a classic from the "Big 80's"

  2. Happy 25th to a lovely couple! You both reflect God's glory through each other, a tribute to the Spirit working within you.

    I remember where Cheri and I were on ours ... (Hayesville) ... and hope to return there again someday.

    1. Thanks Mike. Hope you and Cheri are having a great time in the Outer Banks. OBX...I know that acronym.