Monday, February 27, 2012

Sackcloth & Ashes

Sackcloth and Ashes

Simple font, simple writing. Today marks the sixth day of a 7-Day Cleansing Diet found on Pinterest. The reason I am writing this minute is to boost a last bit of resolve to hang in there. I’m about ready to throw in the towel. But no, I won’t. I’ll pray through it. In fact, that’s the point. Oh, now I remember why it has been so difficult today… just a small mimic of Christ’s desert experience. It has been such a lousy Monday.  I’ve felt that praying would prove futile.

So let’s back up. Everyone wants to know. How does it work? Why did you do it?

Day 1: All fruits, except bananas. Water: 10 glasses.

Day 2: All veggies. One baked potato in the morning with a pat of butter. (for carbs)

Day 3: Fruits & Veggies Water: Always 10 glasses.

Day 4: Bananas & Milk. I was allowed up to 8 bananas. (I made it to 4 and drank almond milk instead of cow)  Today’s nutritional value was for potassium and protein.

Day 5: Lean beef (up to 20 oz.) and six tomatoes!  Yea… wow, and another quart of water to flush uric acid.

Day 6: All the beef and veggies you want

Day 7: Brown rice, veggies and fruit juice

They promise a loss of 10-17 lbs and more. I figure whatever I lose is what I’m supposed to, and that’s enough. If I can keep it off-- all the better.

I’m more than ½ way there… that’s what I chant while I’m running and about out of gas.

The first day wasn’t too bad. My resolve, strong, I forced watermelon, cantaloupe, grapefruit, 2 apples, strawberries, blueberries…and something else, I can’t remember. Oh yea, pineapple. I woke up the next day, stepped on the scale, and dropped 3 NYC pounds. Yippee!

The second day was the hardest. A whole bag of veggies, I took to work, with no dressing. I felt like a rabbit, munching on shrubs. I will admit, the 2 organic sweet potatoes rocked with cinnamon!

The third day was good. I felt ok. I’d lost 4 lbs. I had trouble looking at desserts on Pinterest.

The fourth day wasn’t as bad as I thought although the diet peeps predicted that I’d be surprised at how easy it would feel. Sugar cravings would begin to diminish. I lost 2 more lbs.

Onto the 5th day…still no wine or alcohol…

Steak. I feasted on 10 oz. of Porterhouse that Rob grilled for me. Two tomatoes. I supplemented this with a veggie soup that is allowed on veggie days. I took a walk with Colleen at the dam. I came home and ate another 10 oz. slab and 3 tomatoes. I was done. I shouldn’t have eaten all that.

I woke up this morning with a terrific headache and held the weight loss. No more, no less. I felt a little beat up-- a little hung over from too much cattle. I didn’t eat 8 bananas, why did I think I had to finish off the steer?

Today I announced that I would do my own thing. I made a fruit shake (with a banana), Greek yogurt, and lots of spinach. I went to work, late, feeling crummy. My coffee, still a depressing black (no cream, no sugar)

At lunch we came home and ate leftover beef and veggie stir fry. No rice and just a few bites of beef, very few.

I felt unworthy—my prayers, useless. I’m not a good person. Why do I try?

I berate myself, “It’s not any good if all you’re doing it for is to lose weight. That’s kinda selfish, don’t ya think? Have a cookie. You’re weak. And after all this is over, you’ll gain it all back. You lack self- control.”

I slept in the car while Beth attended her piano lesson. Opened my eyes and read my Catholic devotional and realized what was going on.

I chugged a bottle of water.

I decided to take it easy—cut myself some slack. It’s just a low day. Everyone has them.

The serpent can whisper in my ear, all he wants.

Dinner remains to be seen. I will eat my cabbage soup and a little beef stir fry. I’ll drink my water and be happy that it’s clean, that it runs out of a faucet, with the flip of a wrist. I don’t have to haul it on my head from miles away. I’ll say a prayer for babies in Haiti.

I’ll remind myself that I needed a jumpstart on Lent. I wanted a kick off for losing a few pounds. I accomplished that.

The rest, well, we’ll see.

After all, this is a walk of grace and faith.

God Bless you all…oysters and pearls.

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