Friday, May 17, 2013

May is Marriage

May is observed for mothers. May is for the graduate. May packs ceremonies of the ends of eras and the beginning of futures. Katie's birthday is in May. Rob and I got married in May. December is busy, but May is crazy.

When asked if we are doing anything special for our anniversary, I reply, "Maybe we'll go out for a nice dinner. Mostly though, the special thing that we do in honor of our 26th year is to stay married."

In today's times, that is special.

Marriage can be hard. Life can be hard.

Marriage can be a joy. So can life.

Marriage is the real deal, a real partnership.

Marriage is sacramental. We prefer our husbands and they in return prefer us.

It is not about me. It is about him, the mister. This isn't hard, because it is reciprocal.

He loves me more than life. On his tombstone, he wants it to read, "He loved his wife."

This thought and a thousand others like it make it easy for me to love him.

I like Norah Jones. I've memorized a lot of her lyrics. I find inspiration in her bluesy reality.

So here is one called "Be Here To Love Me":

Your eyes seek conclusion
In all this confusion of mine
Though you and I both know
It's only the warm glow of wine
That's got you to feeling this way
But I don't care, I want you to stay
Just to hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me today
But who cares what the night watchmen say
The stage has been set
For the play
So just hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me today
Well, the moon's come and gone
But a few stars hang on to the sky
Well, the wind's runnin' free
But it ain't up to me to ask why
But the poets are demanding their pay
And they've left me with nothin' to say'
Cept hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me today
Just hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me today
Just hold me and tell me
You'll be here to love me today

There is so much marriage metaphor in this song. I love these lines: Children are dancin'
The gamblers are chancin' their all
The window's accusing the door
Of abusing the wall

So here it is honey. Happy 26th! 

I consider it a grace to be in a perfectly imperfect yet loving union with you. Our life together is the warm glow of wine. Tipsy and smooth.

Let's keep holding each other, let's keep taking the gamble. Let the poets demand their pay. We will pay what we can. We are good for our word. It doesn't matter all that much, the mistakes that we make, the stage is set for the play. The windows will continue accusing the door of abusing the wall. That's ok. One day our kids will realize that each one was as deeply loved as the other...that yes, LOVE makes it all that possible.

The moon's come and gone and a few stars still hang in the sky, the wind's runnin free, but it ain't up to me to ask why. We experience that elation of celebration, and the mundane of daily blend. We don't know how the wind will blow in our marriage together, but we know it will. All we can do is brave its ferocity or feel its breeze. Then we'll count the stars, the blessings. Just hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today.

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