Firsts

Or, First Things First

I'm nearing fifty. Ok, so I'm 48 and one half, but very close to fifty. I've always been that way, marking time before I get there. My Mom used to say, "Enjoy now. Stop being in such a hurry."

Hard habits are hard to break. I don't feel so bad though. There are some things that just are. No right or wrong. I just am.

I was talking to my husband this morning, telling him that one of my son's professors has an autistic grandson. Rob said, "How did that come up?" I said, "I don't know. You know how I am. I just talk about anything and everything, and it came up." Rob says, "Come here and hug me."

So it is with my personality. I talk in circles and I look ahead.

When the kids approached kindergarten at four years old, I prepared for the next year. I would stare at

their cherubic cheeks and memorize every gorgeous indelible feature. Child eyes, so round and

 global that they would sadly and joyfully eventually grow into them. These moments were fleeting.

I won't get them back, except for what I imprinted on my heart as memories. In that way, they

are eternal. Some are captured and framed on my living room wall as Kodak moments.

Nearing fifty, lately I'm impressed at how fresh life still is.

I used to think that as I got older, there would be nothing left to experience for the first time.

I used to think that as the years drug on, there would be more "lasts" than "firsts."

Now I think, some things are best left at "This will be the first and last time I do that."

For Instance: A speeding ticket

                      A marriage (my one and only)

                      A scary movie (The Titanic): Once was enough to watch drowning ship
                      & people

                      Chicken Pox

                      Lost Keys (on vacation)

                      Joining the Catholic Church (I'm home)

These are just a few that I can think of off the top of my head.

Then there are the firsts that are exciting, comforting, and joyous.

They Are:

                       My first conversion as a Christian (many follow.)

                       My first son                

                                                                  


                                                  

                       My first second son

                       My first third son

                       My first daughter

                       My only daughter named Katie

                       My third and only daughter who I call Beth

                       My firsts with the kids, : Nursing, potty training, story reading, driver's ed...

                                                                    

                       My first trip on the NYC subway (alone)

                       My first garden

                       My first time being Aunt Susan

                       My first mortgage
         
                       My first published article

                       My first time at Confession

                                                                   

                       My first smartphone

                       My first swim meet ( I remember)

                       My daughter's first swim meet (I remember)

                       My first time ice skating

It is scary to face an empty nest. I fear that I will quickly grow gray hair and a dim outlook.

But then I think about the kids getting married and having children of their own.

                                                            

I think how nice it is to not care (as much) what people think. (That I also consider a first.)

I think how I might visit a foreign country for the first time in my life, soon.

I'm grateful that I have that to look forward.

Now we have a pope who is the first to be from the Americas. He is the first to be called Francis. He is from the New World. A reformer, like St. Francis of Assisi was for his time. We'll see. I believe that the Holy Spirit guided us to this, another first.

Today is a first of sorts. It is the only day we can call today, 3/14/2013.

Everyday is a first.

A beginning.

A first chance to get a second chance right.

God's mercies are new and fresh every morning...

For this I am grateful. I will begin the 7th day of a Novena.

It is the first time I haven't skipped a day for a nine day prayer.

There is a first time for everything.

With every passing day, the firsts become more precious.

They are fewer and far between but notable.

What is a first and a foremost in your life?